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Improving Your Communication With Your Ex During DivorcePoor communication is one of the fundamental reasons that many couples end up divorcing. Thus, it should be no surprise if your poor communication continues during and after your divorce. Your communication will affect your ability to negotiate your divorce agreement in a timely manner, which may increase the cost of your divorce. If you have children from your marriage, you will need to communicate with your co-parent as long as you are sharing parental responsibilities. Healthy communication between divorced couples requires cooperation from both sides. You can improve your attitude and approach towards communication by following these suggestions:

  1. Know When Not to Talk: There are times when you are better off waiting before responding to your spouse, letting your divorce lawyer talk for you, or not responding at all. Avoid talking to your spouse when you are in a bad mood and feel tempted to respond emotionally. If your spouse is the one lashing out at you, do not let them draw you into an emotionally charged conversation. Your lawyer can handle sensitive conversations that are likely to cause conflict.
  2. Set Communication Boundaries: You have the right to request that your spouse not contact you except during specific situations. Receiving unexpected messages can be stressful and make you feel pressured to respond. You can tell your spouse that you want to limit your communication to your divorce negotiations and scheduled calls to discuss your children. They should not contact you outside of those times unless it is an emergency.
  3. Watch Your Tone: The way in which you talk to your spouse can determine their reaction. Your tone should always be civil, leaning towards a friendly voice. Avoid shouting, scolding, sarcasm, or other tones that may elicit an emotional response. Be careful when sending an email or text message because your spouse may interpret the tone of your message in a different way than what you intended.
  4. Stay On-Topic: Communication between divorcing spouses can break down when they talk about issues that are unrelated to settling their divorce. Discussing your grievances with each other will distract you from the work you need to complete and inject negative emotions into your negotiations. Stay focused on the present instead of reliving past arguments.

Contact a Naperville, Illinois, Divorce Lawyer

When you are uncertain of how to best communicate during your divorce, you should turn to your lawyer for advice. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can lead you through an amicable divorce process. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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How to Be Amicable in a High Asset DivorceEvery divorce in Illinois follows the same laws, regardless of the couple’s net worth and how many assets they own. Still, a high asset divorce is usually more complicated than other divorces and can take longer to negotiate if you did not have the foresight to create a prenuptial agreement. However, the complexity of the division of properties does not mean you must have a contentious divorce. For instance, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos had what publicly appeared to be an amicable divorce earlier this year, despite the fact that he is one of the richest people in the world. There are several keys to keeping your high asset divorce amicable:

  1. Be Thorough in Your Preparations: It is difficult to trust each other during a divorce if you believe that your spouse is hiding or misrepresenting the value of assets. It is your divorce attorney’s job to identify all of your marital properties and assess their value. This process is more difficult with a high asset divorce because of the sheer volume of properties, some of which are complicated to evaluate. Properties in high asset divorces often include luxury items, multiple homes, business interests, and lucrative retirement benefits.
  2. Be Fair: If you amassed your wealth through business dealings, you may be familiar with using aggressive tactics during negotiations. You should understand that divorce agreements follow different rules than business agreements. The goal is for both spouses to leave with an equitable share of assets that help them maintain a familiar standard of living. This often means that the higher-earning spouse must support the financially dependent spouse through spousal maintenance and high-value assets. Even if you believe that your spouse should become financially independent, they will need time to reach that independence.
  3. Be Creative: An advantage of a high asset divorce is that there are plenty of ways for you to reach an agreement that puts you both in a strong financial position. You have options for dividing properties that other divorcees do not, such as giving yourself or your spouse assets that have more growth potential than present value. You can also mix and match your properties so that each of you is receiving something that is personally valuable. Keep an open mind to creative solutions that your divorce attorney may present to you.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

When going through a high asset divorce, it is important to hire an attorney who is experienced in such cases. A Naperville, Illinois, divorce lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C., understands the complexities of a high asset divorce. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.

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Keys to Having an Amicable Divorce ProcessAn amicable divorce process has more to do with your state of mind than with the circumstances of your divorce. You can always find something to argue over if you are bitter towards your spouse. Conversely, you can settle contentious issues when you look at them from a logical standpoint instead of an emotional one. A high-conflict divorce may feel immediately satisfying because you are letting out your resentment towards your spouse. However, an amicable divorce has better outcomes and often results in less emotional damage.

Setting the Tone

Amicable divorce starts with how you handle your initial conversation with your spouse. If you are the one asking for a divorce, you have greater control over the tone of the discussion. You can start on the path towards amicable divorce by:

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Posted on in Divorce

Approaching Your Divorce With MaturityEvidence of an immature romantic relationship can be seen in how a couple breaks up with each other. To avoid the pain of the breakup, one person may avoid talking to the other or place all of the blame for the breakup on that person. As important as a marriage is, you would like to believe that a married couple would be more mature than that when getting a divorce. However, some spouses follow the same behavior patterns as immature couples that break up. The difference is that behaving poorly during a divorce can have more serious consequences. If you both behave like adults, you will increase the chance of having amicable divorce negotiations.

Avoidance

The most immature example of avoidance in a dating relationship is called “ghosting,” when one person suddenly stops communicating in hopes of ending a relationship without having to confront the other person. You cannot ghost your spouse unless you decide to run away. However, you can avoid having necessary conversations, such as:

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divorce and children, naperville divorce lawyerThe adjustment period for those going through a divorce can vary in emotional intensity and overall impact from person to person and from family to family. Children, in particular, are susceptible to high levels of stress and emotional turmoil, especially when the situation is not properly explained to them or communicated in a way that helps them understand the reason for the family separation.

Tips on Helping Your Children

If you are recently divorced and wish to provide your children with the ample support they need to grow up happy and healthy, making the following efforts can pay off in the long run:

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