Calabrese Associates, P.C.

Call Us630-393-3111

4200 Cantera Drive, Suite 200 | Warrenville, IL 60555

Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in parenting plan

How Your Parenting Plan Can Determine Religious UpbringingYour parenting schedule is only one part of the parenting plan that you will create during your divorce or separation. The plan also states who is allowed to make decisions regarding your children, including their religious upbringing. This means that the plan can tell you which religious beliefs and customs your children should follow, as long as they are conscionable. Parents are encouraged to come to an agreement on religious upbringing, but this can be a contentious subject if you have different religious beliefs than your co-parent. The family law court can make its own ruling on religious upbringing if you cannot reach an agreement.

Points of Contention

Your agreement on religious upbringing may include instructions on:

  • Attending regular religious services
  • Following customs at home
  • Sending your children to a religious school
  • Allowing trips out of the country to visit religious sites

You may come into conflict with your co-parent if you disagree on which religion your children should follow or how much of a role religion should have in your children’s lives. Attending religious services may also interfere with your parenting time. For instance, a parent whose time with the children is during the weekend may not want to spend their Sunday mornings attending church if they are not religious. If your co-parent shows a sudden increased interest in religion following your divorce, it is possible that they are using religion as a way to control the children and gain more parenting time.

...

Creating a Parenting Agreement for Your Special Needs ChildParents of children with special needs must consider the many ways that a divorce will affect their child, as well as how having a special needs child will affect their divorce. The type of special need can determine how you explain the divorce to your child, as well as the details of your parenting plan and child support. Your divorce agreement may need a plan for how you will share responsibility for your child for the rest of your lives.

Emotional Needs

All children need special attention and emotional support when their parents are getting divorced. However, parents must use extra care when explaining divorce to a child with cognitive disabilities. You know what your child is capable of understanding and how he or she reacts to change. You may need to explain the divorce multiple times and in a way that he or she comprehends. Your child may still not understand the divorce until he or she sees the result. You can be prepared for a bad reaction to the divorce, but your child may still surprise you.

Parenting Time

It may be impractical to have a normal shared parenting schedule, where each parent has the child for a few days during the week. If your child has physical disabilities, you must consider:

...

Staying Connected in a Long-Distance Parenting SituationA long-distance parenting relationship after a divorce is difficult for both parent and child because there is no substitute for the everyday contact that they normally share. Depending on the distance between them, the parent may see the children only a couple times a month. As a long-distance parent, you may fear losing your connection and intimacy with your child. Though your situation is less than ideal, your parenting plan can help you maintain your relationship with your children:

  1. Regular Contact: Calls and messages will replace much of your in-person parenting time with your children. You can treat your phone or video calls with your children similarly to parenting time. Schedule set times during the week when you can talk to your children, much like when you have days that the children stay with you. This does not preclude you from talking to your children outside of these set times, but it is comforting to them to look forward to a time when they are certain they can talk to you.
  2. Your Visits: It may be too burdensome to expect your children to always come to you for your in-person parenting time, especially if it would take hours of travel time. You can see them more regularly if you are able to travel to them for their visits. You can plan activities that you will do with your children, but it is also important to have a private area where you can be alone with them. Your accommodations could be a hotel or a nearby family member’s home.
  3. Longer Stays: Most long-distance parents schedule the dates when they will host their children during a time of year when the children can stay for a week to a month. This most commonly occurs during the summer break from school, though shorter visits are possible during breaks in the middle of the school year. Short visits feel more like special occasions when you are excited to see each other. A longer, uninterrupted visit allows you to establish a normal routine with your children, which is a more natural and healthy way to continue your relationship.

Contact a Naperville Divorce Attorney

You will need to modify your parenting agreement if either you or your co-parent are relocating after your divorce. You must carefully plan your parenting time because the effort that each visit requires will give you less flexibility in your schedule. A DuPage County divorce lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you negotiate a revised agreement with your co-parent. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

Source:

...

Parenting Plans Should Be Specific, Yet FlexibleWhen it comes to a document as important as a parenting plan, you want to avoid vague language and unanswered questions. A weak parenting plan can create conflict between the co-parents, which may also harm the children. Your parenting plan can be as specific as you need to prevent your co-parent from interpreting it differently. However, the plan should also be flexible so that you can respond to unusual circumstances with practical solutions. A good parenting plan thoroughly addresses all of the known issues that are involved in co-parenting while allowing flexibility to adjust to unforeseen issues.

Detailed Document

Parenting time is rightfully the most discussed aspect of a parenting plan because it is the most fundamental part of co-parenting. However, there are numerous areas of co-parenting in which there is a potential for conflict if the plan does not specifically address them. Some of the most common questions that the plan should answer include:

...

Do Not Underestimate the Impact of Divorce on Your ChildrenDivorced spouses may feel relieved to have ended their contentious marriage. The hostility between them made their lives miserable. If the former spouses are parents, they may believe that the divorce will benefit the children, as well. After all, children feel stressed and unhappy when living with parent who are often fighting. However, children are unlikely to view the divorce in that way. The positives that come from not witnessing their parents' hostile relationship are outweighed by feelings of loss and betrayal. Parents must understand how their divorce will affect their children.

Through a Child’s Eyes

For children, there is no fresh start or optimism after their parents separate. The divorce has abolished the two-parent home that they knew and replaced it with an unfamiliar living arrangement. Normally, parents put their children's needs first. A divorce tells the children that their parents' needs are more important than keeping the family together. Though they may not say it, children can blame their parents for not saving their marriage. If not their parents, they may blame themselves. Adults understand that divorce is a natural and often necessary outcome when spouses have irreconcilable differences. For children, divorce is unnatural because it destroys their family.

...
Back to Top