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A New Divorcee's Guide to Valentine's Day

Posted on in Divorce

A New Divorcee's Guide to Valentine's DayWhether you are in the middle of a divorce or have already finished, your first Valentine’s Day after leaving your spouse can be emotional. Seeing other couples celebrate the holiday can make you feel lonely – not for your spouse but for the relationship you have lost. Valentine’s Day does not need to be a depressing event for you. With the right approach, you can find other ways to enjoy the holiday.

What to Avoid

It is wise to not treat this Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday by going out on a date. If you are in the process of divorce, spending money on a romantic evening could be construed as you wasting marital assets or showing that you do not care about your divorce. If your divorce is complete, you must consider whether you are emotionally ready to start dating again. In general, you should avoid:

  • Going to places that are popular for date nights, such as nice restaurants and movie theaters;
  • Viewing photos on social media of friends celebrating with their significant others;
  • Isolating yourself in order to sulk and feel lonely; or
  • Getting drunk or high to distract yourself from your thoughts.

What to Do

You have worked hard to get yourself through your divorce and start your new life. This Valentine’s Day can be about rewarding yourself with simple pleasures, such as:

  • Fixing a special meal for yourself;
  • Doing relaxing activities that you enjoy; and
  • Taking a break from your responsibilities for one evening.

Some people prefer to stay busy in order to distract themselves from their thoughts. You can exercise, finish a project or do volunteer work. Afterward, you may feel a sense of accomplishment that lifts your spirits.

Valentine’s Day can also be about celebrating your family and friends. You can give Valentine’s gifts to your children and plan a special evening with them, doing something they enjoy. If you have single friends, you can gather for an evening of fun that does not focus on your relationship status.

Finally, you can always choose to ignore that it is Valentine’s Day and treat it like any other day. Valentine’s Day is mostly a commercial holiday and easier to avoid than major family holidays.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

It is common to feel lonely and depressed after a divorce, but you know that you have a better chance of being happy than if you stayed in an unhealthy marriage. A Warrenville, Illinois, divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you create an agreement that prepares you for life after divorce. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.


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