For some couples, the idea of planning for divorce seems downright unnecessary. Not everyone sees the end of their marriage coming, even when it has been unraveling for some time. It is easy to remain in denial or to be so swept up in work, friends, and other activities that you do not realize the marriage is over until the warning signs are unmistakable. Marriages can end suddenly, and when they do, couples are often left to race around and pick up the pieces, with little to no preparation at all. 

How to Start Preparing for an Illinois Divorce

If you were not expecting your relationship to end so abruptly, you may be left with little choice but to face the music and begin chipping away at the filing process. Even the most peaceful splits entail a great deal of work from both parties. From arranging parenting plans and discussing possible spousal maintenance to dividing assets and planning for relocation, your hands will likely be full as you are thrust into the separation experience.

If you, like many spouses, feel blindsided by your suddenly imminent divorce, you can make the filing process as efficient as possible by making the following preparations:

We experience stress every day, whether we are at work, at school, or even just dealing with mundane tasks, but major life events like a divorce can put even more stress on you as you deal with the immense pressure of making decisions that will affect you and your family for the rest of your life. Fortunately, there are certain things you can do to help yourself through this troubling time. Here are a few tips to help keep your stress levels to a minimum during your divorce:

#1. Get Your Priorities in Order

Before you even begin making decisions in your divorce, you should know what you want out of the divorce. What is most important to you? Do you want to make absolutely sure that you get your fair share of the marital property? Or are you more concerned with getting the parenting time you want? Figure out what your priorities are, and focus the majority of your time and energy on them.

#2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Technically, a divorce is the ending of a legal relationship, but as much as it is a legal matter, it is also an emotional matter. You are ending what was once a very important relationship in your life. It is only natural that you feel sad, angry, or even depressed. Allowing yourself to fully feel what your body and mind are telling you to feel is the only way you can grieve, heal, and move on with your life.

Filing for divorce is a momentous decision. Before you begin the process, it is a good idea to ensure that you are prepared in every way possible. The last thing you want is to be knee-deep in divorce proceedings and realize you are unprepared to navigate a critical question. 

Preparing For Divorce Financially

The first thing any professional will recommend is to begin saving money. It is not only attorneys that cost money—you will likely encounter many different bills, and without your spouse’s income, it may be harder to pay them. It is imperative, however, that you do not attempt to hide your assets, at least not money such as your paycheck that can be considered marital property. Illinois is an equitable distribution state, meaning that marital property is distributed to the spouses in the most equitable manner possible upon a divorce. Concealing money that is earmarked as marital property, as spouses’ paychecks usually are, can lead to accusations of hiding assets.  

It is also a good idea to consult a financial professional sooner rather than later, bringing any financial documents you have so that you can develop a realistic picture of your finances at the outset of a divorce. A professional will be able to give specialized, individualized advice as to whether you should take the step of closing joint accounts or opening a private account, or what to do with certain assets like stocks and retirement accounts. These instruments are so individual, and each situation so unique, that often, only a professional can assess your potential financial issues with any degree of accuracy.

Financial struggles are cited as one of the most common causes of divorce. Heavy debt and being unable to pay the bills is stressful, which can damage the couple’s relationship. Monetary troubles can also highlight the spouses’ conflicting spending and saving habits. Bankruptcy is one way that a couple may try to resolve their debts and get a clean start, but it may not be enough to save a marriage that has crumbled under the stress. If you are considering both divorce and bankruptcy, you should understand how the two could affect each other. 

Should Divorce or Bankruptcy Come First?

It would be chaotic to file for divorce and bankruptcy at the same time. Not only would you be juggling two major court cases, but most of your marital assets would be tied up in the bankruptcy. Which you file for first may depend on these factors:

This is the start of a new school year that is unlike any that students and parents have experienced before. With COVID-19 looming as a continuing threat, some schools are forgoing in-person classes or using a hybrid of remote and in-person learning. For students who are attending in person, parents must monitor their children’s health and news of possible outbreaks at the school. The ongoing health crisis makes it more important than ever that divorced or separated parents work together to make sure they are protecting their children, which may require reviewing and modifying their parenting plan.

How Does Remote Learning Affect Parenting Time?

Parents do not normally have to worry about parenting time when a child is at school, but remote learning means that parents must determine who will be with the child during their “school day” if the child is too young to be left on their own. You and your co-parent need to consider several factors:

• Is one of you already going to be at home during the day?
• Are you available to help your child if needed?
• Can your child create a constructive learning space at your home?

It may turn out that the parent who is most available is not the one who normally has parenting time on school days. If the best situation for your child’s remote learning does not match your parenting plan, you will need to modify the plan.