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Approaching Your Divorce With Maturity

 Posted on January 30, 2018 in Divorce

Approaching Your Divorce With MaturityEvidence of an immature romantic relationship can be seen in how a couple breaks up with each other. To avoid the pain of the breakup, one person may avoid talking to the other or place all of the blame for the breakup on that person. As important as a marriage is, you would like to believe that a married couple would be more mature than that when getting a divorce. However, some spouses follow the same behavior patterns as immature couples that break up. The difference is that behaving poorly during a divorce can have more serious consequences. If you both behave like adults, you will increase the chance of having amicable divorce negotiations.


The most immature example of avoidance in a dating relationship is called “ghosting,” when one person suddenly stops communicating in hopes of ending a relationship without having to confront the other person. You cannot ghost your spouse unless you decide to run away. However, you can avoid having necessary conversations, such as:

  • Telling your spouse that you want a divorce;
  • Addressing conflicts in your marriage; and
  • Discussing how your spouse feels about divorce.

You may be taking the pressure off yourself by not starting the divorce conversation. You are waiting for your spouse to bring it up so you can say that you did not start the divorce. Avoiding the subject will cause tension and animosity to grow. You owe it to your spouse to be honest if you have decided that you want a divorce.


In most cases, each spouse shares responsibility for a marriage ending in divorce. However, some people have difficulty accepting their own shortcomings. Instead, they deflect those feelings by blaming their spouses for their divorces. Going into a divorce negotiation with a victim’s mentality will make it harder for you to reach a reasonable compromise. If you show open hostility, your spouse may retaliate in kind. Once the divorce has started, you should avoid bringing up old arguments from your marriage. Divorce negotiations are beyond the point of blame. You have already decided to divorce, and placing blame will not change that outcome.

Showing Maturity

Going through a divorce means having uncomfortable conversations and putting aside your ego in order to make smart decisions. Treating your spouse with respect will allow for more amicable negotiations and a better outcome for both sides. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, PC, can advise you through your divorce negotiations and help you reach a favorable settlement. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.


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