Improving as a Father Through Divorce

 Posted on September 13, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Some men become more active and involved fathers despite the obstacles that their divorces create. Courts often grant less allocation of parental responsibilities to fathers, which means that fathers have less time with their children and less say in parenting decisions. As a father, you are always a full-time parent, even if you see your children only part-time. You need to change what you require of yourself as a full-time father.

Parenting Time

You should treat your time with your children as a precious resource. When you were living with your co-parent, you could be less active with your children because you were sharing parental responsibilities. Single parents cannot avoid interacting with their children and taking direct responsibility. This should include:

• Talking with your children individually;
• Helping them with their homework or life problems; and
• Having fun with them.

You need to adjust the rest of your life's schedule to make the best use of your parenting time. You may need to shift your work hours so that you can be with your children during your parenting time. Social activities with friends or romantic interests should always be secondary to your time with your children.

Discipline

Some divorced fathers spoil their children to make up for not seeing them as often. You may feel happy giving gifts to your children every time you see them or having lax rules at your home. However, you are encouraging poor behavior and a sense of entitlement in your children. Being a good father requires disciplining your children when they misbehave and giving them responsibilities at your home. If their mother is the one who is spoiling them, tell them that you have your own rules for behavior when they are with you.

Beyond Parenting Time

A full-time father is involved in his children’s lives even when it is not his scheduled time with them. There is a difference between remaining involved with your children and interfering with your co-parent’s parenting time. You can have regular communication with your children by phone, text or email while making sure that it does not conflict with activities that your co-parent has planned. You can attend extra-curricular activities that your children participate in, sitting separately from your co-parent. Regular contact reminds your children that you are always available to support them.

Fathers’ Rights

The parenting agreement is the guiding document for a father’s parenting time and responsibilities. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you create a parenting agreement that preserves your parental rights. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.

Source:

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/divorce-made-me-better-father-man/