Supporting Your Adult Child in Their Divorce

 Posted on May 31, 2025 in Divorce

Divorce rates among people over age 50 have more than doubled since the 1990s and many of these breakups involve adult children with families, careers, and long histories of shared financial responsibility. If your son or daughter is going through a divorce in Naperville or elsewhere in DuPage County, you may be wondering how to help without overstepping. While the process is different than it would be for a younger couple, it is no less emotionally complex.

As of May 2025, Illinois divorce law continues to apply the same statutes regardless of age, but the way families navigate divorces for adult children often requires a different kind of support — one rooted in respect, patience, and guidance rather than intervention. Read some tips from our Illinois divorce lawyer about supporting an adult child through their divorce. If your child has young children of their own, you can read more about the basics of child custody in Illinois.

5 Tips for Talking to Your Adult Child About Their Divorce

Your role is not to fix or resolve the divorce but to be a steady, nonjudgmental presence. Here are five ways to support your adult child in the most meaningful and appropriate way:

• Listen without offering unsolicited advice. Divorce in adulthood often involves shame, guilt, or grief. Just being a safe space for them to talk is more valuable than trying to solve problems

• Respect their privacy. Avoid discussing the divorce with extended family or friends unless your child says it is okay to do so.

• Offer logistical help, not legal direction. Help with childcare, meals, or tasks that lighten their daily load, without pressuring them to "move on."

• Be careful not to demonize their ex-spouse. If there are grandchildren involved, remember that the ex is likely to remain in your family’s orbit. Even if you are angry with your child’s partner, your grandchildren will still need their other parent, and it is advisable to maintain a manageable relationship.

• Ask them what they need. Some adult children want advice. Others just want a listener. Let them guide the type of support you offer.

Listening to Your Child Talk About Divorce is About Empathy, Not Instruction

Even if you went through a divorce yourself, your child’s experience is unique. Illinois law may have changed significantly since you got divorced, and the social and financial pressures faced by today’s adults — especially in dual-income households or long-term marriages — can be very different. Your understanding of past divorce norms might not apply to current realities involving collaborative divorce, mediation, complex property division, or parenting plans for teens and young adults.

When to Encourage Someone to Get Legal Advice for Their Divorce

While you should avoid giving legal advice directly, you can gently encourage your child to speak with an experienced divorce lawyer. An attorney can help sort through financial concerns, housing transitions, and parenting schedules without turning the process into a battle. Even collaborative divorces benefit from solid legal guidance.

Contact a Naperville, IL Divorce Lawyer

If your child is considering a divorce and you want to better understand the process or encourage them to take the next step, a knowledgeable DuPage County, IL divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C. can help. Reach out at 630-393-3111 to get trusted legal insight for your family.