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Improving Your Communication With Your Ex During DivorcePoor communication is one of the fundamental reasons that many couples end up divorcing. Thus, it should be no surprise if your poor communication continues during and after your divorce. Your communication will affect your ability to negotiate your divorce agreement in a timely manner, which may increase the cost of your divorce. If you have children from your marriage, you will need to communicate with your co-parent as long as you are sharing parental responsibilities. Healthy communication between divorced couples requires cooperation from both sides. You can improve your attitude and approach towards communication by following these suggestions:

  1. Know When Not to Talk: There are times when you are better off waiting before responding to your spouse, letting your divorce lawyer talk for you, or not responding at all. Avoid talking to your spouse when you are in a bad mood and feel tempted to respond emotionally. If your spouse is the one lashing out at you, do not let them draw you into an emotionally charged conversation. Your lawyer can handle sensitive conversations that are likely to cause conflict.
  2. Set Communication Boundaries: You have the right to request that your spouse not contact you except during specific situations. Receiving unexpected messages can be stressful and make you feel pressured to respond. You can tell your spouse that you want to limit your communication to your divorce negotiations and scheduled calls to discuss your children. They should not contact you outside of those times unless it is an emergency.
  3. Watch Your Tone: The way in which you talk to your spouse can determine their reaction. Your tone should always be civil, leaning towards a friendly voice. Avoid shouting, scolding, sarcasm, or other tones that may elicit an emotional response. Be careful when sending an email or text message because your spouse may interpret the tone of your message in a different way than what you intended.
  4. Stay On-Topic: Communication between divorcing spouses can break down when they talk about issues that are unrelated to settling their divorce. Discussing your grievances with each other will distract you from the work you need to complete and inject negative emotions into your negotiations. Stay focused on the present instead of reliving past arguments.

Contact a Naperville, Illinois, Divorce Lawyer

When you are uncertain of how to best communicate during your divorce, you should turn to your lawyer for advice. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can lead you through an amicable divorce process. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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Posted on in Divorce

Four Ways to Be a Good Client During DivorceWhen you begin the divorce process, you are entering a prolonged working relationship with your divorce attorney. Your attorney is your go-to person for discussing all of the technical aspects of divorce, including property division and allocation of parental responsibilities. You select an attorney based on his or her ability to help you obtain a favorable outcome from divorce. However, a good attorney is at his or her best when the client is helpful. Here are four tips for being a good client during your divorce:

  1. Showing Interest: Your attorney has extensive knowledge about divorce, but you are the expert on all matters concerning your life and your marriage. You must be willing to be an active part of the divorce by being available to answer questions and provide information. Anticipate that your attorney will need to know detailed information about your finances and property. Try to promptly answer any questions he or she asks.
  2. Trust Your Attorney: Curious and concerned clients may do their own research on legal aspects of divorce. With the open access to information on the internet, it is tempting to try to answer your own questions. Having access to information is different from knowing how to find the answer. Your attorney should be your resource for any questions you have about your divorce. By doing your own research, you are drawing your own conclusions about the law that may conflict with your attorney’s work.
  3. Efficient Communication: It is good to have an open line of communication with your attorney, but excessive phone calls or emails can be detrimental. Productive conversations become interruptions while your attorney is trying to work. You can most efficiently address your concerns by writing them down and discussing them all at once during planned, regular communications.
  4. Remaining Calm: Some divorce topics may stir up your emotions because of their personal nature. An uncooperative or difficult spouse may also make you angry. When you allow your emotions to control your judgment, you make irrational decisions that undermine your attorney’s efforts to help you. When you fall prey to negative emotions, listen to your attorney’s advice with an open mind. Your attorney has an impersonal perspective on your divorce that helps him or her identify decisions that will be most beneficial to you.

Client Relationships

Divorce attorneys and their clients are most successful when they work with each other on the case. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, PC, can discuss ways you can help during the divorce process. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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