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Naperville IL divorce lawyerWe experience stress every day, whether we are at work, at school, or even just dealing with mundane tasks, but major life events like a divorce can put even more stress on you as you deal with the immense pressure of making decisions that will affect you and your family for the rest of your life. Fortunately, there are certain things you can do to help yourself through this troubling time. Here are a few tips to help keep your stress levels to a minimum during your divorce:

#1. Get Your Priorities in Order

Before you even begin making decisions in your divorce, you should know what you want out of the divorce. What is most important to you? Do you want to make absolutely sure that you get your fair share of the marital property? Or are you more concerned with getting the parenting time you want? Figure out what your priorities are, and focus the majority of your time and energy on them.

#2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Technically, a divorce is the ending of a legal relationship, but as much as it is a legal matter, it is also an emotional matter. You are ending what was once a very important relationship in your life. It is only natural that you feel sad, angry, or even depressed. Allowing yourself to fully feel what your body and mind are telling you to feel is the only way you can grieve, heal, and move on with your life.

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Four Surprising Emotions You May Experience After DivorceGoing through a divorce can stir up complicated emotions for everyone involved. Some of the emotions are predictable, such as anger, depression, and anxiety. You may be angry at your spouse and yourself for the end of your marriage while also feeling depressed about it. It is natural to feel anxious about what your post-divorce life will be like. However, you may surprise yourself with some of the emotions you feel during and after the divorce. Rather than deny them, you should acknowledge these feelings and understand why you are experiencing them:

  1. You Still Care About Your Former Spouse: Couples divorce because they no longer feel affection for each other and are unhappy living together. You may initially feel resentful towards your spouse and take some pleasure in their struggles. However, you may eventually realize that you still care about your spouse’s wellbeing and want them to find happiness on their own. This is not the same as loving or even liking someone. It is showing empathy towards someone who was once an important part of your life.
  2. You Have Some Fond Memories From Your Marriage: People try to justify their divorce to themselves by thinking that there was nothing positive about their relationship. The negative moments from your marriage do not erase the positive moments. You should hold onto the positive memories, such as your wedding, vacations, shared parenting, and fun you had together. Try to learn from your negative experiences rather than dwell on them.
  3. You Are Interested in Your Former Spouse’s Life: It is natural to be curious about how your former spouse is doing. It may be necessary to keep track of them if you are co-parents or included spousal maintenance in the divorce. However, there is also an unhealthy tendency to compare yourself to your former spouse. It does not matter if they have started dating again before you or if they look happy in their social media photos.
  4. You Are Relieved to Have Free Time from Parenting: Divorced parents often feel guilty about splitting up their family and spending less time with their children. The idea of not seeing your children for a couple of days each week may frighten you, but you may discover that you feel grateful for the time that your children spend with your co-parent. This does not make you a selfish parent. Being a single parent is more demanding than when you were married, and you need alone time to take care of personal issues or just relax.

Contact a Naperville Divorce Attorney

Dissatisfaction with your divorce agreement is an emotion that you can avoid after your divorce. A DuPage County divorce lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you create an agreement that meets your post-divorce needs. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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Responding When Divorce Catches You By SurpriseYou must act quickly and pragmatically once you and your spouse have decided to divorce each other. People who delay finding a divorce attorney and gathering information are put at a disadvantage when they must make important decisions. However, you may have a more difficult time overcoming your initial emotions if the divorce came as a surprise to you. You may initially react with anger towards your spouse or by fighting to save your marriage. Unfortunately, you cannot afford to avoid the practical concerns of your pending divorce.

Caught Off Guard

A spouse goes through an internal struggle before working up the nerve to say that he or she wants a divorce. The spouse concluded that:

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