We experience stress every day, whether we are at work, at school, or even just dealing with mundane tasks, but major life events like a divorce can put even more stress on you as you deal with the immense pressure of making decisions that will affect you and your family for the rest of your life. Fortunately, there are certain things you can do to help yourself through this troubling time. Here are a few tips to help keep your stress levels to a minimum during your divorce:

#1. Get Your Priorities in Order

Before you even begin making decisions in your divorce, you should know what you want out of the divorce. What is most important to you? Do you want to make absolutely sure that you get your fair share of the marital property? Or are you more concerned with getting the parenting time you want? Figure out what your priorities are, and focus the majority of your time and energy on them.

#2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Technically, a divorce is the ending of a legal relationship, but as much as it is a legal matter, it is also an emotional matter. You are ending what was once a very important relationship in your life. It is only natural that you feel sad, angry, or even depressed. Allowing yourself to fully feel what your body and mind are telling you to feel is the only way you can grieve, heal, and move on with your life.

Going through a divorce will distract you from your normal work responsibilities. A divorce requires too much time and effort for you to avoid this reality. What you are capable of doing is trying to minimize the effect and preventing it from hurting overall productivity in the workplace. According to research, the average business loses more than $80,000 worth of productivity each year because of employees going through a divorce. You may be able to save some of this lost cost by recognizing how your divorce is affecting your work and taking measures to remedy it.

Cost of Divorce

Your divorce may occasionally force you to be absent from work, which will naturally make you a less productive worker. Some meetings and court dates cannot be scheduled around your work, and you may need to devote more time to your parental responsibilities as a single parent. When you are at work, you may have less energy or be distracted by thoughts of your divorce. Your employers can anticipate a temporary downturn in your productivity and availability. Hopefully, they will understand that this is unavoidable because of your personal situation. However, some employees allow their divorces to hurt workplace productivity in ways that are unacceptable, such as:

• Being absent without notice;
• Making mistakes or poor decisions;
• Not completing work assignments; or
• Distracting other workers because of their stress or poor attitude.

Solutions

You can help your employers accommodate your needs during your divorce by communicating with them. Let them know that you are going through a divorce and how that may affect your availability. You are likely not the first employee who has divorced, so your employers may know what to expect and how to handle the situation. You can do your part to minimize the effect your divorce has on your employers by:

The decision to divorce may provide you some relief because a resolution to your unhealthy marriage is in sight. However, your relief may turn to stress once you realize how much work will be involved in the process. A divorce agreement involves making tough decisions about money, property, and parenting. If you feel overwhelmed, you must remind yourself that you cannot complete the process all at once, even if you wanted to. When starting a divorce, you can divide tasks between what needs to be done immediately and what you should keep in mind for later.

Immediate Concerns

Your most urgent tasks at the beginning of your divorce involve your day-to-day needs. Your divorce has disrupted your life, and you need to create some stability before you can focus on larger issues. Immediate concerns include:

Going through a stressful divorce can cause you to develop insomnia. Your thoughts are dominated by worries of how you will settle your divorce and what your life will be like afterward. It can be difficult to turn those thoughts off once it is time for sleep. Even when you manage to fall asleep, your overactive mind may create nightmares that wake you up. Dealing with your divorce on top of your normal responsibilities is tiring. You need meaningful sleep each night in order to refresh yourself for the next day. You can take steps to combat insomnia, both leading up to your bedtime and when you are trying to fall asleep:

1. Regular Exercise: Find a time in your schedule when you can routinely exercise. The activity relieves tension and may expend enough energy to make you tired when it comes time to sleep. A tired body can override an active mind.
2. Decompression Time: Your mind needs a chance to settle down before you go to sleep. Create a cutoff point during the evening after which you will try not to think about or do any work related to your divorce. Find a relaxing activity that will distract your mind.
3. No Late Night Snacks: Food or drinks that have caffeine, nicotine or sugar can stimulate your body at a time when you are trying to sleep. Do not eat snacks containing these for at least three hours before you go to bed. Also, do not use alcohol as a means to go to sleep. Drinking may make you drowsy, but it can also interfere with you getting the restful sleep you need to recover.
4. Sleep Schedule: It is easier to fall asleep if your body is familiar with a regular sleep schedule. Try to stick to a normal routine of when you go to bed and when you get up.
5. Tiring Yourself Out: If you are trying to sleep but are not tired, you may be better off getting up and doing something instead of lying in bed awake. A stress-free activity may help you relax and eventually grow more tired.
6. Calming Thoughts: When feeling overwhelmed by stressful thoughts, some people use mechanisms to calm themselves. It could involve repeating a mantra or concentrating on a noise or physical sensation. The idea is to focus on something that puts you in the present.

Stress of Divorce

Divorce can be a long and difficult process, but you will not go through it alone. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, PC, can handle many of the stressful aspects of your divorce. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.