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Children Need Relationship with Both Divorced ParentsDetermining the allocation of parental responsibilities can feel like a competition between parents to see who can receive more parental powers after a divorce. Parents will present their own strengths and the other parent’s weaknesses, with the prize being a greater share of parenting time. However, a focus on winning parental control may ignore what is in the best interest of a child. A parent with a majority of the parental responsibilities should help the other parent maintain a strong relationship with their children.

Parental Roles

Illinois family courts presume that it is in a child’s best interest to have two strong parental figures unless one of those parents is demonstratively harmful to the child. Children benefit from an active relationship with both parents because:

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Repairing Your Relationship With Your Children After DivorceObtaining a fair share of parenting time is one part of being a good post-divorce parent. You also must use your parenting time to develop a positive relationship with your children. In your children’s eyes, you are not the same parent as you were before your divorce. Your children may also seem like different people if their moods and behavior have changed because of the divorce. They are likely still feeling pain and betrayal but are also looking to you for comfort and guidance. The onus is on you to create a new and healthy relationship with your children as a single parent.

Communication

Understanding your children’s feelings and needs starts with talking to them. Their time with you should include opportunities to discuss what is going on in their lives and how they are feeling. Ask them to share both the good and the bad so you are a more complete part of their lives. When they are with their other parent, encourage them to remain in contact with you, via:

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