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Talking to Your Child About Divorce

 Posted on April 15, 2024 in Divorce

IL divorce lawyerParents who have chosen to get divorced often find telling their children difficult. It is hard for parents to know how their children will react. Deciding how to approach the conversation is challenging. Parents must consider when and where to break the news and what their children’s reactions might look like. Some children are taken by complete surprise, but others are surprisingly perceptive and already know that divorce is looming. Parents must make sure their children know that both parents still love them and will put them first, even though the parents do not want to be together anymore. A DuPage County, IL divorce attorney can help parents find divorce solutions that keep children out of the conflict.

Tips for Telling Your Children You Are Getting Divorced

News of their parents’ divorce can come as a relief for children who have noticed a lot of conflict between their parents. Conversely, children might also become extremely upset. Tips for talking about your divorce with your children include:

  • Do it together - It is usually best for both parents to sit down with their child together to share the news about their divorce. 
  • Put the children first - Parents should start by making it very clear to the children that both parents still love them and remain committed to putting them first. Help the children understand that both parents are still going to be a part of the children’s lives even though they will not be living together all the time. 
  • Do not blame anyone - Even if one parent was notably at fault for the divorce, it is best not to blame each other in front of the children. Trying to make your child resent the other parent will not help your case - or your child.
  • Plan your divorce method first - Uncertainty is scary for young children. Decide how you will approach your divorce before you talk to them. “Mommy and Daddy are going to talk to a mediator to help us decide when you will see each of us” is better than “We are not sure how we will figure out what to do.” 
  • Get their input - Give your children time to express their thoughts, feelings, and wishes. Hear your children out if they have strong opinions about things like not wanting to change schools. 
  • Talk in private - Children react to this kind of news in unpredictable ways. If possible, it is better to have this conversation in the privacy of your own home. 

Contact a DuPage County, IL Divorce Lawyer 

Calabrese Associates, P.C. is experienced in helping parents with children of all ages get divorced. Naperville, IL divorce attorney Michael J. Calabrese has been handling family law matters in Illinois since 1994. Contact us at 630-393-3111 for a confidential consultation.

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