What Does Divorce Mediation Look Like?

 Posted on May 23, 2025 in Divorce

You have probably heard that divorce mediation is cheaper, faster, and less stressful than courtroom divorce. That is sometimes true. But what you may not have heard is that mediation is still a process that is emotionally raw, legally complex, and full of hard compromises.

In Illinois, mediation is not just an alternative to courtroom litigation. It is often a required step, especially when child custody is involved. If you are getting divorced in Illinois, you should expect to go through it. The question is not whether you will attend mediation, but how to make it work. At Calabrese Associates, P.C., our DuPage County, IL divorce mediation attorney can make the process of mediation approachable.  

What It’s Like Inside the Divorce Mediation Room

Divorce mediation is a structured process in which a neutral third party — the mediator — helps you and your spouse negotiate an agreement. The mediator is not a judge and will not decide your case. Rather, the mediator’s role is to facilitate conversation, clarify points of conflict, and guide you toward resolution.

You may sit in the same room with your spouse, or in separate rooms with the mediator going back and forth. Sessions are usually held in office spaces or remotely via video, not in courtrooms.

Each session typically addresses a specific topic. For example:

• Dividing assets and debts

• Creating a parenting schedule

• Calculating child support

• Discussing spousal maintenance (alimony)

• Planning for tax filings or college costs

Expect each session to last one to two hours. You may attend several sessions over weeks or months, depending on the complexity of your divorce and the willingness of both parties to cooperate.

What Mediation Is and Is Not

Mediation is not therapy. The mediator is not there to fix your marriage or assign moral blame. Their focus is the legal outcome, not your emotional closure, and they will work hard to steer the conversation away from long-standing conflict between spouses.

Mediation is also not binding unless you and your spouse come to an agreement. If no agreement is reached, you may end up litigating the case in court. This takes longer, costs more, and puts final decisions in the hands of a judge.

How to Make Divorce Mediation Work for You

Mediation does not work because everyone naturally feels calm and agreeable. It works because people come prepared, with a realistic sense of what they want and what they are willing to give.

Come to the table with documentation like tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, and parenting calendars. Know what your children need, and what your post-divorce life will require. Most of all, come with the willingness to speak honestly and to listen.

The attorney you choose matters, even in mediation. A lawyer who understands both negotiation and litigation — someone who knows when to push and when to step back — can help you prepare for each session and review any proposed agreement before you sign.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Divorce Mediation Attorney Today

If you are preparing for divorce mediation, a Naperville, IL family lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C. can help you understand the process, organize your goals, and protect your interests throughout. Call 630-393-3111 to schedule a consultation.