Parents of children with special needs must consider the many ways that a divorce will affect their child, as well as how having a special needs child will affect their divorce. The type of special need can determine how you explain the divorce to your child, as well as the details of your parenting plan and child support. Your divorce agreement may need a plan for how you will share responsibility for your child for the rest of your lives.

Emotional Needs

All children need special attention and emotional support when their parents are getting divorced. However, parents must use extra care when explaining divorce to a child with cognitive disabilities. You know what your child is capable of understanding and how he or she reacts to change. You may need to explain the divorce multiple times and in a way that he or she comprehends. Your child may still not understand the divorce until he or she sees the result. You can be prepared for a bad reaction to the divorce, but your child may still surprise you.

Parenting Time

It may be impractical to have a normal shared parenting schedule, where each parent has the child for a few days during the week. If your child has physical disabilities, you must consider:

A long-distance parenting relationship after a divorce is difficult for both parent and child because there is no substitute for the everyday contact that they normally share. Depending on the distance between them, the parent may see the children only a couple times a month. As a long-distance parent, you may fear losing your connection and intimacy with your child. Though your situation is less than ideal, your parenting plan can help you maintain your relationship with your children:

1. Regular Contact: Calls and messages will replace much of your in-person parenting time with your children. You can treat your phone or video calls with your children similarly to parenting time. Schedule set times during the week when you can talk to your children, much like when you have days that the children stay with you. This does not preclude you from talking to your children outside of these set times, but it is comforting to them to look forward to a time when they are certain they can talk to you.
2. Your Visits: It may be too burdensome to expect your children to always come to you for your in-person parenting time, especially if it would take hours of travel time. You can see them more regularly if you are able to travel to them for their visits. You can plan activities that you will do with your children, but it is also important to have a private area where you can be alone with them. Your accommodations could be a hotel or a nearby family member’s home.
3. Longer Stays: Most long-distance parents schedule the dates when they will host their children during a time of year when the children can stay for a week to a month. This most commonly occurs during the summer break from school, though shorter visits are possible during breaks in the middle of the school year. Short visits feel more like special occasions when you are excited to see each other. A longer, uninterrupted visit allows you to establish a normal routine with your children, which is a more natural and healthy way to continue your relationship.

Contact a Naperville Divorce Attorney

You will need to modify your parenting agreement if either you or your co-parent are relocating after your divorce. You must carefully plan your parenting time because the effort that each visit requires will give you less flexibility in your schedule. A DuPage County divorce lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you negotiate a revised agreement with your co-parent. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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Teenagers are more capable of complex thinking than younger children because of their growing maturity. Thus, it makes sense that a teenager’s reaction to a divorce may be more complicated than with his or her younger siblings. In some cases, your teen may surprise you with how well he or she reacts to the news. However, it is also common for teens to become depressed, angry, or rebellious. Though your divorce can distract you from your parental responsibilities, you cannot wait until it is over to address the issues that your teen may be having. Here are three tips for helping your teens during your divorce:

1. Communicate With Them: Teens are already inclined to spend more time with their friends than their family. Your divorce makes it likely that they will turn to their friends in order to escape the stress of family life. It is good for them to have that social outlet, but they still need you to be a guiding presence in their lives. Your teen’s friends may not know the correct way to react if he or she starts behaving dangerously, such as showing increased interest in drugs, sex, or violence.
2. Do Not Overburden Them: In a single-parent home, you may need your teens to take on greater responsibility for your family’s daily tasks. Some teens will take it upon themselves to pick up the slack, including assuming an almost parental role with their younger siblings. You should not expect your teen to be a second adult in your household because your teen would be skipping an important stage in his or her development. Let teens help you with age-appropriate tasks while encouraging them to continue their extracurricular and social activities.
3. Maintain Discipline: You may find it difficult to be strict with your children during your divorce because you feel guilty about how your decision is affecting them. A teen may be smart enough to take advantage of this leniency in order to get away with inappropriate behavior. You can be a disciplinarian with your teen while also being compassionate and understanding. Try not to be angry with them. Instead, tell them that you are setting rules because you care about them and want to instill good habits and values in them.

Contact a Warrenville Divorce Attorney

Your children need you to be present in their lives during and after your divorce. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you create a parenting schedule that allows you to see your children regularly. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

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Some men become more active and involved fathers despite the obstacles that their divorces create. Courts often grant less allocation of parental responsibilities to fathers, which means that fathers have less time with their children and less say in parenting decisions. As a father, you are always a full-time parent, even if you see your children only part-time. You need to change what you require of yourself as a full-time father.

Parenting Time

You should treat your time with your children as a precious resource. When you were living with your co-parent, you could be less active with your children because you were sharing parental responsibilities. Single parents cannot avoid interacting with their children and taking direct responsibility. This should include:

• Talking with your children individually;
• Helping them with their homework or life problems; and
• Having fun with them.

You need to adjust the rest of your life's schedule to make the best use of your parenting time. You may need to shift your work hours so that you can be with your children during your parenting time. Social activities with friends or romantic interests should always be secondary to your time with your children.

When it comes to a document as important as a parenting plan, you want to avoid vague language and unanswered questions. A weak parenting plan can create conflict between the co-parents, which may also harm the children. Your parenting plan can be as specific as you need to prevent your co-parent from interpreting it differently. However, the plan should also be flexible so that you can respond to unusual circumstances with practical solutions. A good parenting plan thoroughly addresses all of the known issues that are involved in co-parenting while allowing flexibility to adjust to unforeseen issues.

Detailed Document

Parenting time is rightfully the most discussed aspect of a parenting plan because it is the most fundamental part of co-parenting. However, there are numerous areas of co-parenting in which there is a potential for conflict if the plan does not specifically address them. Some of the most common questions that the plan should answer include: