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What Should I Do If My Spouse Surprised Me By Asking For a Divorce? 

Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County Divorce LawyerThe worst nightmare of many people comes true when their spouse unexpectedly asks for a divorce. Sometimes the marriage may not be going well, but reconciliation seems likely; other times, the announcement comes completely out of the blue. It can be frightening and difficult to know what to do, and the idea of hiring a divorce attorney may seem painful and unnecessary. 

But if you have been surprised by a request for a divorce, it is important to take your spouse seriously and not put off taking practical actions. You may eventually be able to change your spouse’s mind, but if you cannot, you may put yourself at a serious disadvantage by waiting to find a divorce attorney. 

Assess the Situation Realistically 

Studies suggest that divorces can be more traumatic for many people than the death of a spouse, especially when one spouse does not want the divorce to happen. Other studies suggest that people who get divorced are often not happier later, and many regret it. But while all these things may be true, if your spouse has made up his or her mind, you need to be able to look at the situation honestly. 

Trying to slow down the process or acting uncooperatively can make the situation worse. It will not stop the divorce from happening; partners do not often reconcile after a request for divorce, and Illinois courts rarely deny divorce requests. But if you do not cooperate, you will likely frustrate not only your spouse, but the judge may be unhappy as well, especially if he or she has to make decisions on your behalf. You are far less likely to be satisfied with the terms of the divorce than if you accept that the divorce is going to happen and meet the process head-on. 

Focus on the Practicalities of Divorce

While divorce is undoubtedly an emotional affair, it is, at the end of the day, more like a business split than anything else. If you can put your feelings aside to focus on the logistics, you will likely get a better deal for yourself. 

Your spouse probably has a head start by asking for a divorce and may already have a divorce attorney who is counseling them on important issues like child support, asset division, parenting time, and more. Acting quickly can get you caught up on these issues. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney can help you learn more about the law, assess your overall financial situation, and begin setting priorities for the negotiation process. 

Consider Meeting with a Naperville Divorce Lawyer

Suddenly finding out that your spouse wants a divorce can feel like the floor has fallen out from underneath you. At Calabrese Associates, P.C., we understand how difficult the divorce process can be. That is why our experienced Naperville divorce attorneys will work hard to manage the legal aspects of your divorce and fight for your parental and property rights. Call us today at 630-393-3111 to learn more about how we can help. 



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